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About

I have never been officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder because back in my home country, the concept is not popular and the doctor just diagnosed me with depression in the beginning. I was depressed at first, for a long time. But after some really painful experiences where people wronged me and shown no empathy at all, in fact, they mocked my condition, I got into an angry stage. It fluctuated between depression and anger for a long time, years. It was one of the worst times in my life. I wasted most of my early 20s immersing myself in depression, anger, and wasting time minding people who absolutely hate me. Part of the reason for my depression and bipolar was because I was too innocent and believing at the time, to the point I always believed what the other person said, even if it was opinions about myself. I went through tremendous pain learning the truth afterward, so I guess it contributed to my mood swings.

Now that I reach 30, I have wised up a lot, still gullible, but a lot less. I realized what I did wrong and am focusing on rebuilding my life and living life to the fullest. I haven’t taken any pills for years, more than 6 years.

Bipolar is a thing that affects your life a lot. During the manic phase, you tend to make stupid decisions, especially those involving money. During the depression phase, you don’t feel motivated to do anything. I couldn’t work properly because of it.

I just hope that the world is more aware of mental illness and there is more support for people who are suffering from bipolar disorder. There are a lot, but we all feel alone. It’s weird.

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